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I Lift and I Like It (part 2)

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After doing two more marathons throughout graduate school, I began to question how I was measuring my fitness. I would run for hours thinking. I started reading about the benefits of cross training and decided it would be a challenge to do a triathlon and it would mean incorporating two other disciplines as cross training. I bought a bike and started swimming in a pool to train for my first fall triathlon in Lake Geneva, WI in 2006. I still vividly remember feeling the lake weeds tickle my belly as I swam too close to the shoreline trying scared of getting kicked in the face by an intimidating pack of swimmers.

In 2008, I moved to San Diego and was excited to have arrived at the birth place of the triathlon! I scaled back the running limiting myself to half marathon distances and made it a long term goal to continue with the sprints and complete an Olympic distance triathlon.  One day my best girlfriend took me to try out a free class at her CrossFit gym, CrossFit Humanity. My skepticism soared and I remember asking her, “Is this for ultimate fighters?” “Why do I want to do boot camp stuff and get yelled at?” “I see a lot of guys getting ripped doing it but what do the girls look like?” “Are they huge?”

The gym environment she took me too looked like a playground for adults: Ropes hung from the ceiling, pull up rigs lined the walls and a putting green for sled pushes ran up and down the center. Fitness toys occupied each corner: barbells, kettlebells, and medicine balls to name a few. I feared my exposure to CrossFit would be too intense to enjoy and I believed that lifting weights would make me look heavy. Silly me. Below is one of my very first CrossFit workouts. It’s not apparent what lift I was attempting to accomplish (don’t mind the poor form) but it was a struggle to get 55 lbs overhead and I was sore for almost 5 days post workout.

Action Steps:

1)  If you’re not questioning the definition of fitness you’re probably not as fit as you think you are. Fitness is not all cardio or having visible abs for your instagram. Fitness is three dimensional just like you.

2) Challenge yourself to work new muscle groups. For example, if you are a runner, set a goal to be able to pull up your body weight.

3) Don’t judge a workout routine until you’ve tried it.

The Proposal (part 2)

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catalina overview

Two and a half years into our relationship, his business was really taking off and it became clear to me that I needed to encourage him to go back to Chicago to lead his team as well as reassure him that I wasn’t going to go anywhere. I’ll never forget the night before he moved back. We were both scared and in tears hoping for the best outcome but internally preparing for the worst. To our surprise, he was happy to be back in the mix with his team and felt more satisfied on a day to day basis. This in turn, translated to a happier Larry and stronger relationship than either of us could have imagined. We didn’t know we were so strong as a couple and while I’m not a religious person, faith played a big role in it.

As our three year anniversary approached, Larry said he wanted plan a weekend getaway for us and that it was a surprise. Most would think, “Oh maybe I’m getting engaged?” Larry had conditioned this thought right out of me. We had been on trips to Paso Robles, Laguna Beach, Cabo San Lucas, Maui and Big Island. On each one of those I thought to be prepared with nails done and planned dressy outfits. As a little girl I’d always wondered what will I be wearing when I get engaged? So as the three year approached I told myself I was going to enjoy the surprise getaway and not worry about whether or not we were going to get engaged. He flew in on a Thursday morning which was unusual because he usually flies in on the same 7:30 pm arrival flight when he comes for the weekend. But he said he wanted to get his hair cut and run a few errands. I kept asking if he was here early if he wanted to go to lunch near my office but he basically said “Sorry, I’m busy.” I was texting him throughout the day with little response. A little butt hurt, I whined to my friend Arti at work. She said to relax and enjoy. I’m glad I listened.

When I arrived home after work, Larry told me we were taking the puppy and to pack warm weather clothes, a jacket and one nice outfit to go out to a nice dinner on Saturday night. Then he said the first stop was Long Beach to see my mom. I cracked a joke about how that’s just where I thought we were going to spend a romantic weekend away but he said we were taking Frankie there and staying overnight to arrive at our final destination on Friday. Friday morning we said goodbye to Mom and Frankie and it wasn’t until he pulled into Long Beach Harbor that I knew we were going to Catalina for the weekend!

The entire weekend he had everything planned and even a secret itinerary typed out he would refer to but I wasn’t allowed to see. We had coffee and ran in the morning, went zip lining in the afternoon and had drinks by the beach in the evening with a dinner we could easily walk to. I couldn’t believe how much thought he’d put into anticipating what I would like to do and giving us plenty of time to just wander together as well.

wine and cheese

I was particularly enthralled with the fact that our hotel put on a wine and cheese hour every evening from 4-6 pm. I made sure we booked it back to enjoy some people watching with wine in hand. On Saturday night before we headed to our celebratory dinner I put on a classic black dress and heels. As I was curling my hair and humming to myself, Larry asked me if I would like my anniversary gift. I responded with, “There’s more?!?” In that moment a flash of hope that this was a ring popped into my head. And then I held my breath and watched as he pulled out a necklace box. To compensate and mask my disappointment I fawned over the beautiful pearl necklace I had just received.

necklace

“Han, it’s okay,” I told myself. “He loves you so much but it’s not happening. That doesn’t mean this weekend isn’t amazing or you’re not loveable. If you feel that way you’re gonna need to go back to the therapist. Don’t let this rain on your enjoyment of being with your favorite person who has done all of this for you.” Then he said, “I got them because I thought you’d look beautiful in them and every woman should own a nice set of pearls.” I goo goo-ed and ga ga-ed over the necklace and came to the conclusion I was relieved the gift anticipation was over. I got a necklace! Whoo! Time to throw back a little more wine.

 

Action Steps:

1) Sometimes you gotta let your man take the lead and quit trying to be the boss all the time.

2) Decide what food is so enjoyable to you it will be consumed on vacation.  There was a lot of other junk I didn’t eat so I could rock that wine and cheese each night. Trust me.

3) Sometimes you want the ring and you end up with the necklace. Don’t let it spoil your fun!

The Proposal (part 1)

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beach couple

It has only been a month that I’ve been engaged and every time I wake up and realize I have a fiancé I am reborn as the happiest person on the planet. I finally know what it feels like. For almost twenty years I’ve wondered who I was going to marry, if I’d get a pretty ring, how I’d know he’s the one, what I’d be wearing when he asked, if I’d feel any regret after saying yes. JUST SO MANY QUESTIONS, LONGINGS and hoping to GOD someone might love me enough to one day propose. Turns out that someone is Larry Kiss and boy am I the lucky one in this equation.

I knew Larry was the one for me the night I met him. I didn’t predict that that meant we’d end up engaged but I knew that he was going to have a really hard time shaking me if he tried. He was a REAL MAN in every sense of the phrase: tall, dark and handsome but also self-assured without being boastful and I immediately loved that he conversed with an honesty and quiet confidence.  This wasn’t in the usual charming way I’d been accustomed to hearing but more a matter of fact, “I know I want to have kids someday and settle down.” I knew this guy was different because I innately trusted him. It scared me to believe that guy could come as put together as Larry and of course I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t put that to the test.  And I move quickly. SO within the first month I cross examined this man and sat back and observed if words and actions aligned. When it all lined up that this guy was legit I knew I had act. I asked him out on a paddle boarding date that turned into drinks, sushi dinner, more drinks, and a movie we both fell asleep in. It was an EPIC first date that set the course of our relationship.

After only six months of dating, we moved in together. Moving in meant having to share and be respectful of another person’s wants and needs within a space. Let’s just say he was better at it than I was. After the first month of moving in together we settled in and enjoyed our sweet life by the beach. It was the first time I ever felt like I had a home. The first time in 29 years I couldn’t wait to be home after work to share a domestic space with him. It was the first time in my adult life I got a Christmas tree and received the best surprise up until this point:frankie in car l's lap He was willing to get weekly allergy shots so we could adopt a puppy.  Our world became even brighter when we adopted Frankie, also affectionately known as Schmoopy, Hooey Hoo, and puppy wuppy.

Action Steps:

1) If you think he’s marriage material grill him if you need to. If he truly is, he will still be around and still interested.

2) If the person you are with makes you feel happy to come home and create a home that’s a very good sign.

3) What has he been willing to sacrifice for you? If you can think of a few examples this is evidence he’s not a total self-centered douche bag.

I Lift and I Like It (part 1)

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lunging

Photo Credit: Chris Wodjak Photography

“Lifting weights makes you bulky.”

“I don’t want to look too muscular.”

“That’s great that you can lift that much and you don’t look too manly.”

“Wow. I could never do that. I’m not very strong.”

“You do what? You’re too little to do that.”

“I’d have to get in shape first before trying that.”

These are just a handful of excuses that I hear from women about being reluctant to lift weights. Instead, I see them literally running in circles to burn fat and be slim. I was like you, I tell them. If you have the time and you want to listen, I now know a secret. It’s a secret most women, including myself don’t believe until they try: Lifting weights makes you lean, powerful, confident. It changes the way you view yourself and carry yourself through the world.

There is something you need to know about me: I was not an athlete as a kid. I was a social butterfly sports team participant. I was neither fast, nor strong, nor particularly coordinated. The only thing I had going for me was once I set my mind on something I never quit. I was the second to slowest female runner on the cross country team in high school but I trained at every practice and completed every meet. If someone had told me I’d be doing what I’m doing now, I would’ve bet money that I would never be able to accomplish what I have in the world of health and fitness.

I started becoming interested in fitness in college at the University of Wisconsin in 2004. That was where I ran my first 10k and had the thought that someday I’d like to be “fit enough” to run a marathon. In graduate school while living in Chicago, I put my dream into an action plan thanks to a friend who had run one before. He gave me a training schedule swore up and down if I stuck to it I’d get there and we could meet up and run a marathon together. I had six months to build to 20 miles without stopping. I had never run more than 3 miles. I thought okay, I’ll just be disciplined enough to run each day it says run X many miles and I’ll get there. I stuck to the plan and ran my first marathon in 4 hours 15 min up and down the hills of San Francisco.

Action Steps:

1) You didn’t need to be athletic as a kid to get in shape as an adult. It’s never too late

2) Whether you’re big into fitness or looking to get started there’s no right way. Let your journey be your own.

3) As you begin, log your accomplishments no matter how small they may seem. The first time I ever ran more than 3 miles I logged it. Going back to those original logs and reading my sense of pride and confidence fuels me even now.